Working Mommies - both stay at home, in the office and in between

I have friends that are stay at home moms, friends that work at an office and then there are people like me who work but office from home and no matter where you fall in that category, some one somewhere has given you grief about your choice. i will never understand why some moms sometimes frown on the working moms. Hey, we have to do the same stuff you do only we have to do it typically before 8am or after 5pm along with whatever our jobs require. But by the same token, I really hate it when a working mom looks down on a stay at home mom.

I have heard it said more than one by a working mom to a stay at home mom, "well, it's not like you have to go to work or anything." HELLO! even though i have never been a stay at home mom in the truest since of the word, i will be the first to admit that stay at home mom is darn sure a job! it's one of the most thankless jobs there is. sure you have the glory of being with your children and raising them as you see fit and lets face it, being a parent is a thankless job most of the time anyway.

No one says, THANK YOU MOM for doing the dishes. THANK YOU MOM for the 15 loads of clothes you did today. THANK YOU MOM - for fighting with the crowds at the store and buying us food....i could go on and on but all you mom's know what i'm talking about. Now add in the thankless part for all that any mom does and then add to it that you don't get an actual paycheck and typically - i don't mean to man bash but lets face facts here boys - there is a man in the background complaining because you had the nerve to splurge and spend $20. to buy yourself something nice because you want to say thank you to yourself. When you don't have a paycheck coming in, you have the "spending my money line" from the working man in your household. stay at home mommies work ashard, if not harder, than the working mommies only they have someone giving them grief about "not working."

To this I say you have two options ----

option #1 - devise your pay scale and deliver your weekly itemized billing to said working man and i suggest things like the following:

8 loads of dishes this week@ 5.00 a load = 40.00
30 loads of laundry @5.00 a load = 200.00
7 dinners at @20.00 each = 140.00
3 floor cleanings @25.00 each = 75.00
4 cleanings of bathrooms @25.00 each = 100.00
7 routine picking up the house at @25.00 each = 175.00
one week of day care for one kid = 650.00 (feel free to add more for more children)
one week of daily taxi charges= 100.00
__________________________________

Total: 1480.00
**feel free to add additional charges for other wifely duties you feel should be include and present this to snarky husband/better half and demand your payment up front.

next time he has a comment about you not working, you can present your weekly pay stub and remind him that you do indeed work.

option #2 -

to all those working mommies who have something catty to say to you, i would tell them that you would gladly trade places with them for a week and then let them get back to you on if you really work or not. i bet after a week of working in your shoes, their weekly itemization is gonna be a little bit higher and i can guarantee that their outlook on how hard being a stay at home mom really is will be through the roof!

so to all my stay at home moms, when i hear things like, "well you can take a nap if you wanted to, it's not like you work." or "of course you have time, you don't have a job." i want to personally smack the person who said it and if it's a woman that said it, i really want to snag her by the purse, trap her in a room with her kids for a week on end and then see how she feels about a stay at home mom not working. i have your back ladies......

March Madness

so March Madness has a different meaning at our house. March has been jam packed with birthday parties, spring break, spring carnivals and spring cleaning (0k, more on the hubby's part than mine for the cleaning but I keep kids corralled while he has been planting his garden). This weekend was full of spring carnivals at Monkey's school and Sissy's school.

The kids had a great time playing and stuffing themselves full of candy and other goodies but somehow we ended up with new pets out of the deal.

my older two both have lousy aim. In fact they're both instructed not to throw things because their aim is so off they often get that old Momizim"stop that before you put someones eye out." So when they asked if they could play the goldfish game at one carnival - you know where you toss a ping pong ball into a goldfish bowl and if you make it in, you win the goldfish- i thought nothing of it knowing that there was no chance either one of them would actually get the ball in the bowl. So you can imagine my surprise when not one but both of my children were winners of goldfish.

now if I remember correctly, when you do this at county fairs and larger carnivals, you actually win the goldfish bowl with the fish. However at the school carnival, you win a goldfish in a ziplock. Sissy has named her fish princess something or another and Brother has named his Sir Andrew Swims-a-lot. I lovingly named them Walmart and Petsmart because that's where we ended up having to go to find the fish homes and food. Thinking that these critters weren't going to live very long, I wasn't inclined to spend the $18.00 for a fish tank or any accessories for the fish. We're already down to one fish this afternoon as Petsmart was found floating upside down this morning. We should have known he wasn't destined to live long when we put him in the bowl out of his ziplock and one fin was missing......so Sissy does routine checks on her fish and announces about once an hour that her fish is still alive......but sadly we have to have a five gun salute to Sir Andrew Swims-a-lot and I'm still trying to figure out if I want to deal with the hassle of replacing him.......

Funny Fridays

it is true that kids do say the darnedest things, my kids are no exception.... below are a list of the ones that I find funny and/or odd....

1. one day this week we were waiting for an accident to clear. a pick up truck had slid underneath the trailer of a semi and it peeled back the cab of the pick up like a tin can. my oldest goes, "i hope that guy ducked!" ---me too, although i'm not so sure ducking would have helped that poor soul.

2. this is from a while back, but still funny. my now middle child was about 5-6 at the time and was in the dressing room with me trying on clothes. I tried on a sweater that I knew would need an undershirt, but i had an undershirt that would work at home, so i tried it on without the undershirt. my sweet little girl says "mommy, your balls are showing." I was laughing so hard i could hardly breath. she was trying to say my BRA was showing. The lady in the next dressing room, to her credit, was trying very hard not to be heard laughing hysterically at that comment.

3. another good one from Sissy that still makes me laugh - we had trouble with her saying things like - wow, that lady's really fat and things like that (now keep in mind she was 3-4 at the time) but we still have to watch her and give her the stink eye in line at stores and stuff to make her keep her mouth shut. one day we were standing in line at target behind a very, very large lady who was driving one of the go-go scooters. I had given Sissy the stink eye and Brother was just looking at me with this total look of fear that his sister was going to say something and we had almost made it through without incident and the lady was getting her bag to leave and just as we're almost in the clear, the lady has to back up for one reason or another. Brother was standing not too far behind her when the lady began to back up. of course you know the scooters have the safety option that beeps when you back up. so when the scooter starting beeping, Sissy yells at the top of her lungs - "brother look out, that big fat lady is backing up, get out of the way."

4. on the way home from vacation one year, after a week of being together in that "god just let me get home" mood of the last hour of the trip, Daddy had completely lost it and told the kids that he had had enough arguing. not a word - "not one more word until we get home out of either of you." to which they typically would be quite for a few min, but then the whispering starts and here we go again. but you know how, as a parent you have what i call the "scary quite?" i realize we've gone "scary quite" in the car and i look in the back seat to see that Sissy has gotten a rat tale comb out of my bag and proceeded to tease her hair. to the point that she has her hair so tight around that comb, it's stuck and i mean really stuck. so there she sits with a comb stuck to the front of her head and i'm laughing so hard i have developed side pains. I couldn't get it out for laughing so hard and Daddy gets mad because i can't stop laughing to help her. She's crying because i'm laughing at her and god help me, i cannot stop laughing. if that's not the kicker to the end of that vacation, i don't know what was. but yet every year, we seem to do it again....and every year that last hour before we get home daddy has the "not another word" moment and that vein in his head twitches......

Thank you Thursday

I've seen this on several other posts and thought this was a good idea....so here are my latest thank yous.....

THANK YOU - idiots at the AT&T store in Conroe. People like you are a reminder of how NOT to provide customer service. I do believe you work on commission, so too bad for you you're horses behinds because I had money to spend and now I won't be spending it with you.

THANK YOU -to my dogs for helping Mommy clean the Cheetos dust from Monkey. Apparently Monkey thinks it's more fun when the dogs lick it off of him rather than Mommy do it with a wipe....although we still had to use the wipes to get the dog drool off of us....

THANK YOU - to the little blue haired lady at Kohl's parking lot today for trying to get into my parking space with me. People like you are the reason I have a job.

THANK YOU - to my boss for letting me have three days off to prevent me from developing a serious stress induced meltdown.

THANK YOU - to my hubby for trying to take me fishing, which leads to the next...

THANK YOU - to the "damn" boat for yet again crapping out on us. but thankfully it appears this time it may be an easy fix - both mechanically and pocket book wise.

THANK YOU - to my dad for teaching Brother how to clip a chicken's wings. I don't blame Brother for being scared, I can't say I would have volunteered to be the 'chicken holder' either!

Decisions, Decisions

Every day of our lives we're faced with umpteen decisions to make ---some are no brainers, like do I really have to go to work today? yes, you really do unless you want to be sitting in the dark eating Ramon noodles. Some are not so easy ----yesterday was an example of the not so easy ones.

So after a birthday party, I took Sissy to meet her mom because she's staying with her mom for spring break. Monkey, who had not had a nap in the last two days, was being pretty good and I thought we had a good shot of a nap in our future. so after I dropped Sissy off, even though I had to go to the restroom, I thought I would be able to make it home without stopping. Of course traffic being what it was, making it home without stopping was not going to happen for us. So I pull into a gas station, unbuckle Monkey from his car seat just praying that the restroom was working. Fortunately, it was a very nice restroom with only two other older ladies in there who were talking at the sink.

After telling me what a cute baby boy I had, I proceed into the handicapped stall because there is more room and allows Monkey to roam for a few minutes to allow mommy to take care of business. Usually our biggest problem in bathroom stalls involves trying to play in the trash can or peaking our head under the stall into the other stalls to say hi. Thankfully there was no one in the stall next to us so Monkey could peak away and not bother anyone. One downside to the handicap stall is that typically there is more room from the toilet to the door. Monkey's down there playing peek a boo under the door and that's fine, he's not in the trash can so it's all good. Until he starts trying to crawl underneath the door. After telling him sternly twice to come back, he looks back at me - on all fours halfway out from under the door already - gives me a sweet little melt your heart smile, and proceeds to crawl out from under the door. I'm yelling at him to come back here and I see feet running down the bathroom. I don't know if those two ladies are still at the sink or not but what I do know is that there was no door into the bathroom. just a cut out and a hallway you turned into, so he's on his way out into the store.

So in a split second you have to decide....do i hurry up and get my clothes on and hope that no one kidnaps my 16 month old who's made a break for it or do i run out of this restroom like a mad woman with my pants around my ankles and grab my child??? Decisions, Decisions.....at that point you have to go with what is best for your child, not what is best for your dignity and i go running out of that bathroom trying to pull my clothes back on, screaming for Monkey to come here and hoping that no one has my child and that if anyone is out there, they don't hurt themselves laughing at the crazy woman running out of the restroom half dressed chasing a toddler......

thankfully, I was able to catch Monkey just as he was rounding the corner and I was able to at least get my pants most of the way up before running out into the store for all the world to see and that one of the ladies who had been in the restroom when we came in was just outside the ladies room door stopping Monkey for me. So to the very nice lady at the Chevron station yesterday, thank you for helping me and not laughing too hard at me.

What??? Really??? No, I don't think so....

ok, so the tip of the day from Weight Watchers was when you feel a snack attack coming on, endulge that craving, but do so sensably. If you're craving something sweet, eat a piece of fruit. If you're craving something salty, try a handful of roasted nuts. Ok - I get that in THEORY you should reach for the fruit or the nuts, but in reality how many of us have said "oh my god, if I don't get a kiwi right now I'm going to hurt someone?" PLEASE?!?!



There is a reason that all the aisles at the check out stands have candy and junk rather than fresh produce. No one wants the fruit for goodness sakes. Ever seen fruit at a check out stand - I know some stores do put it there - but take a good look at that fruit. It's by far seen way, way better days and looks like something that warrants a call to the health department. Why? because it's been there for a week because no one has a fruit snack attack!



I have never in all my life said, man, I'm starving, wish I had a banana and some almonds, that would tide me over! Whatever. Have your kids ever begged you to please, please buy a bag of roasted cashews at the check out line? Have they ever once pleaded with you to please let them have a bowl of grapes for snack? Have they ever just gotten so excited and told you how great a mom you are because you put cauliflower on their plate for dinner? NO!! If you have ever had any of your children request such things, then either your child is in so much trouble they think being extra good will make you forget whatever it is they did or they were entertaining themselves to see the shocked look on mom's face when they said such a thing.



Again, in THEORY, yes, we should request fruit rather than chocolate but lets face it, fruit is not going to make your day better when a good piece of chocolate certainly will. I'm not saying we don't eat fruit or veggies for a snack, but it's a forced choice, not a first choice. If you can look me in the eye and honestly say that if you could have any snack in the world you would tell me a plum over a piece of chocolate, then all I can say is - Kudos to you because you are an example to us all! and you're also full of crap as far as I'm concerned! ha!

Manic Mornings

most mornings around our house consist of rushing and running trying to get everyone dressed, ready and some what presentable with most of the stuff we're supposed to have with us for school that day. This morning was a pretty smooth one, but some times we have some doozies....in fact all of last week bordered on chaotic.

Which brings me to my topic for today. when i see tv shows or commercials with these extra perfect people/families with their sitdown breakfasts and calm morning discussions over the perfect cup of coffee in someones perfect sparkling kitchen, i have momentary lapses in judgement and think, wow, it's just me that can't get it together in the morning! but I know that's not the case. So I'd like to dedicate this post to things you will never, ever see on t.v or commercials and how real life of working mommies everywhere really works....

Fiction Vs. Reality:

Fiction - Johnny or Jane off to school with their perfect lunch in the cutest of cute lunch boxes skipping down to the bus stop holding mommy's hand.

Reality - Brother running out of the house at a break neck speed with his lunch flapping behind him in a target bag because we can't keep up with our lunch kit and mom yelling run, run standing in the yard trying to flag down the bus so the bus driver doesn't leave us.

Fiction - kids at school opening their lunch to find a perfect sandwich with all the fixings.

Reality - kids opening the target bag to pull out a flattened sandwich that we sat on getting onto the bus with nothing but bread and meat or peanut butter. one week brother just took two pieces of bread because he didn't like the lunch meat HE picked out, so in protest, he just ate bread that week. don't worry brother, that lunch meat you just had to have will be waiting on you next week too!

Fiction - a perfectly groomed mom driving her pristine mini van to school and walking Johnny or Jenny up to their classroom for their day of learning to begin.

Reality - mom with bags under her eyes, crazy hair and PJ's pulling up to a screeching halt at the front doors of the school. the door flies open and a few days worth of mail, sippy cups and empty coke bottles fly out. Mom crawling over the passenger seat trying to pick up the junk yelling, go, go, run! if you run you won't get a tardy slip. you can tie your shoes when you get to class!!

Fiction - perfectly groomed kids with outfits that match and are pressed and wrinkle free.

Reality - half brushed hair on your child who decided to wear clothes that were wadded up in a corner that consists of a purple shirt and green skirt topped off with two different color socks. you realize as you are telling her bye she has a chocolate milk mustache along with globs of toothpaste on her face....hey, at least we brushed our teeth!! even if we do look like a homeless child that spent the night rolling around in a ditch.


We try...that's all i can say. We try, but often times i think we fall far from the mark at our house. It's all we can do to be dressed and up and out the door without missing the bus or getting a tardy slip. I know I'm not alone, especially when I see other frantic mother's almost rear end my car in line at school when their door flies open and a tornado of junk comes flying out behind a kid running to school in wadded up clothes, untied shoes trying to make it in the door before the second bell rings because all you have to do is be IN the door, not the classroom and tardies don't count!

Lets Not Play Tag With A Bat

that pretty much sums up the weekend....and goes into the "things I never thought I'd ever have to say" but you did. Apparently it seemed like a good idea to the kids to play tag with a bat, but fortunately Daddy put the kibosh on that before anyone got hurt!

Sister, Monkey and I went to the Texas Independence Day Festival and had a good time. Sister doesn't understand that just because you entered a drawing does not mean that you automatically win, but she has said if she does win the flat screen t.v., she wants it to go in her room....i told her she had a better chance of winning the coloring contest than she did winning the new t.v. but since she won the coloring contest, i guess she figures she's a shoe in for the new t.v.

To the family sitting next to us at Sweet Tomatoes today at lunch, thank you for proving my point that your "church" should not have a gift shop, coffee bar and valet parking....

man, i'm ready to go back to work. I spent all week ready for the weekend but now i'm ready to go back to work to have some peace and quite....not that i don't love them all dearly, but i need some relative quite!

Parent Of The Year Award

I'm anxiously awaiting my parent of the year award, which i know i will be receiving in the mail any day now........i started out this morning with a bang. All three kids went to school crying...what a bang up job I'm doing over here!

It started out with Brother getting busted for lying. why we choose to lie over the stupidest stuff in the world is beyond me. It's not the stuff that bothers me, it's the lying. it drives me up the wall to stand there, look me in the face and lie through your teeth to me. i'm at a complete loss as to what to do with this child - he's already on restriction, work detail and had everything that can be taken away from him has been taken away. short of being on bread and water, we've run out of things to take away and it seems the more we punish him, the worse he behaves. and as i understand it, this is going to get even more fun the older he gets....gee, just can't freaking wait!!

then monkey went to school crying because mommy wouldn't let him smash his bag of goldfish to crumbs.

so sister is being really good and has been the last couple of days and has a birthday coming up. so i was asking her what she wanted to do for her birthday and she of course doesn't know but asked what we were going to do for her birthday. well, her birthday falls on her mom's weekend, so she's having a party at her mom's house on her actual birthday and then the following weekend, i'm taking her and her little friends to the Houston Children's Museum and for a day of fun. But she got all upset when she asked if her dad and i were coming to her party at her mom's and i said probably not. let the water works begin. i felt like total scum of the earth while she sat there crying that we weren't going to celebrate her birthday. the more i tried to make it better and explain, the worse it got and the more she cried.

i guess it's a blessing and a curse that we have worked so hard to include everyone in every event/celebration and kids just don't understand. I'm sure J doesn't want us at her house and I'm even more sure that's beyond weird for her friends and her husband. nothing says fun times like the x husband and his wife showing up a celebrations...at your house, with your friends and family....fun, fun.

I just never wanted the kids to be put in a situation where they had to choose one parent over another. i have friends who literally had to choose which parent they wanted at graduations, weddings, showers, etc - all the important stuff - because mom and dad were divorced and couldn't stand the sight of one another and it was just a brawl waiting to happen. i never, ever want these kids put in that situation.

and to top if off, sister's birthday falls on easter weekend and monkey and I are obligated to be at church in Lufkin and if we don't show up, there will be serious fall out from that. again, all the more reason i really wish someone would figure out how to clone me so i can be at two places at one time.

so all three kids went to school crying this morning -----way to parent!! that's why i'm the absolute best parent and just awaiting the universal parenting committee to send me my award.....

Rant and Rave Weds.

I saw this on another blog and liked it, so we will try it out today.

Rant - so we know brother is in serious trouble and when asked why he was not turning in his work assignments in class, his stellar answer was he just didn't want to get up to turn them in!!! he has to walk 10 ft, not 10 miles to turn them in. how can you be so lazy as you don't want to walk up and turn in your assignments?!?!?!?!

Rave - i must say, the 5th grade band concert was pretty darn good, especially considering that the band had never played all together before the concert. the classes are split with woodwinds in one class and brass and percussion in another, so they did pretty darn good - even if it was twinkle, twinkle little star

Rant - i cannot be in two places at one time. i have yet to be able to bend the laws of physics and let me tell you, if anyone ever figures it out, it will certainly make my life easier but for now, it's just not an option

rave - tonight starts the new season of Ghost Hunters and they're in Alcatraz...should be a good show.

Rant - i finally get one child on the straight and narrow and then another one goes off the deep end on me. if i could just get all the kids at one time to behave, what a wonderful world it would be

Rave - chick fil a's new yogurt parfait's - they rock. for those on Weight Watchers (which i swear is like the mob, once your in you can never get out!!) it's 5 points for a very good breakfast or snack

rant - i really hate that brother has to act a fool because now he's not getting to go to the Texas Independence Day Festival Saturday and he was so looking forward to going. I hate to not take him but you cannot stand there and point blank lie to my face when I ask you if you have a progress report and you tell me no. so sorry, that behavior will be punished and you can stay home with daddy and work off your sentence on the chain gang

Rave - really looking forward to the Texas Independence Day Festival - hope the weather stays pretty and should be a good time for the kiddos

The Ins and Outs of Motherhood

So.....here goes the first ever blog for me.......a friend suggested that I write a blog about all the ins and outs of my world - actually she suggested a book simply because some of the goings on in my life are so comical they'd make a heck of a fiction novel. some things I promise you I just couldn't even make up if I wanted to....

so here goes -
today the major issues involve my oldest and school. nothing says happy tuesday like a phone call from the school wanting to talk about your son's failing grades and you had no idea he was failing in the first place?! so now do i not only look like a dufus for not knowing he was failing, i also look like an unconcerned, uninvolved parent, which is totally not the case! I don't know what we're going to do with this child....i honestly think it's just his age and all the blood that should be flowing to his brain is flowing in another direction!! but he is in MAJOR trouble when he gets home today, that much i can promise him. i don't know what his punishment is going to be but it's going to involve manual labor and lots of it!! but on the upside we will have a pretty yard this spring, no thanks to the hard work from brother man!!

tonight we have a 5th grade band concert - gee, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star honked out by 5th grade begginner band....can't wait. lets hope i don't get the giggles like i did at the begginer guitar concert because some of those parents were simply waisting their time, effort and money on those lessons!!

but i am going to be missing dance class tonight and will be missing the dance moms. we had to miss last week due to the weather and a sick little boy so i'm having dance mom withdrawls....miss the gals and all the fun we have.

so for today, this is all i have ---join me and see where this ride takes us. if nothing else, this is gonna be cheaper than therapy!!